This post was actually written on Thursday. I am much better today mainly due to the fact that my friend had a new baby yesterday! It was a great day and somehow new life puts things into perspective. I debated whether or not to post this but it was how I was feeling…and still some how I am feeling now. So, here goes…
Ya’ll…I am so super sad. There are a few reasons but two lately made me super sad and I have almost felt paralyzed from it. First, I sat down to edit the Ninja Video I posted yesterday. Let me just tell you…
Cameras don’t lie and I look FAT! I am not looking for sympathy here. A fact is a fact. My belly practically sat up on the counter. That is not ok! My weight is sitting still around 205 and that is not ok. Summer was supposed to be the time for me to get back into the 100’s. I haven’t made it yet but it is my own damn fault. No one to blame but me. And that makes me sad.
I did talk to my doctor about it last week and she is sending me to a nutritionist to get a Metabolic test done to see exactly how many calories I should be eating. I am excited about that. I never know if 1200 is too few or too many. I guess this way there will be no guessing.
Oh, yes, the doctor. Not much to report there except I was up in weight. Shocker! I explained to her that I was having trouble losing weight and we both agreed that the tremendous amount of stress in my life right now is probably a big culprit.
Speaking of stress…
This photo was sent to me by a reader on Facebook yesterday. THANK YOU for sending it to me first and foremost.
THAT IS ME! And that is NOT what my post was about.
Upon seeing this, I went through a gamete of emotions. At first, I was shocked. Who in the world would put that headline on my picture? Then, I got angry and tried to figure out WHO was behind it. Then, it became somewhat of a mystery because the page it is going to, Kelsey Byers Fitness, has no idea who did it. She swears it wasn’t her. Then, I got sad. I got sad that headline was put on my picture.
You see…I was so happy. I was marrying my best friend and I FELT beautiful. I knew I had weight to lose but it didn’t stand in his way of marrying me or in my way of being happy. So, why do I let it bother me? Because someone is using a photo of ME to promote them and making up a lie about it. THAT IS ME!!!!! I know I don’t look like that now but it is still me…and it makes me sad.
Why do people in this world have to be so mean and cruel to benefit them? Why do people say mean things about others at all? Honestly, I can’t imagine growing up in this society with all this social media. My high school life was difficult enough without social media. I just can’t imagine.
So, those two things yesterday and continuing today made me very very sad. I am going to have a moment and then I am going to reflect and figure out what I need to do to be happy again. I need to pray, figure out what is best for me and then start living again. Right now, I am not living. I am busy worrying about the future, stressing over stolen photos, and muffin top and not TRULY living. It’s time for me to get me back. Just as soon as I figure out how.