I told you all that I was on spring break last week. I weighed on Tuesday morning and this is what I saw:
I was pleased. I was happy to see the exact number I saw two weeks ago. I felt accomplished. I was happy. I felt like it was possible to lose weight on vacation. I was feelin’ good.
Then…I was handed a cupcake. I didn’t even really think about what I was do and before I knew it, the cupcake was in my mouth. It-was-so-good! It was a homemade cupcake that a little girl’s grandmother had made and I really enjoyed it. Everything about it. The frosting was good, the cake was good, there was a perfect amount of frosting to cake ratio. I ate it and it was good…
So, my “car” was rollin’ down the road. I was doing good. I had maintained weight while away a week on vacation. I had limited sugar. I was rollin’ down the road and then all of a sudden, I got a flat tire. I chose to eat the cupcake. That choice gave me a flat tire (not a spare tire…that is around my middle!).
What would most “normal” people do when they got a flat tire? Change it and keep rollin’ down the road on a spare until they could replace it. What would most “normal” people do after eating a cupcake when trying not to eat sweets? They would get right back on track and keep going.
Well…no one ever said I am normal. In fact, I am not normal. I am a sugar addict. So, when the choice was made to eat the cupcake, instead of “changing the tire and moving on,” I got out of the car and proceeded to slash the rest of my tires.
WHAT?!?!?!?!? Who does that? Well, apparently I do. That one cupcake led me to eat several Dove Dark Chocolates and anything else sweet I could find. I felt like a crack addict. One little taste of crack and I couldn’t get it fast enough.
That feeling has not really subsided. I am not sure what is happening but I know it is a choice and I just need to make a better one.
My mom’s birthday is tomorrow and I will eat cake with her. Then, as soon as I wake up Saturday morning, I am done with the tire slashing binge. I will go back to saying No to sugar. It is my weakness and I cannot have it. It is a choice. I will choose better. I know better and I will do better.
No more slashing the other three tires when one goes flat.