I Used To…

I used to weigh 125 pounds…

I used to be able to run for two hours straight.

I used to look forward to stepping on the scale.

I used to celebrate successes with 5 pound gold stars.

I used to say, “I have lost 100 pounds” and not have to add, “But I have gained some back.”

This time of year, I have a bad habit of living in the past.  This time two years ago I stepped on the scale and hit that magical number of 100 pounds gone!

100 Pounds Gone

For the past two years, I have wanted to hit that goal again by Halloween.  I wanted to get back to where I was then.  I wanted to reach that milestone again.  But I haven’t.  And every year, I get down on myself and ask why is it so hard to get back to that place?  What is holding me back?  And every year I vow that THIS year will be different and it hasn’t been.

This week, with my sickness and having just lived through the magical Halloween time for me, I got a little sick of my “Used To” attitude.  Yes, I “Used to” weigh 125 pounds…in high school.

I don't want to brag or anything

Yes, I used to run for two hours straight but I had horrible hip pain and was hungry all the time!

Yes, I used to celebrate successes with 5 pound gold stars at my Weight Watchers meetings but I had a LONG way to go.

You see, I think far too many of us are stick in the Used To’s of our past.  I think too many of us are holding onto clothes from 15 years ago because we “Hope to get into them one day!” or we beat ourselves up because a year ago we could do blah blah blah.

I think it is time to forgive ourselves for our current “situation,” embrace where we are and see the good in what we have done.  I have lost 90 pounds.  I live a healthier life.  I have more energy.  I am motivating others to live a healthy life.  I don’t weigh 275 pounds anymore.  I don’t look like this:

Weight Watchers Success Story Before Losing 100 pounds

Yes, two years ago I weighed about 15 pounds LESS than I do right now.  Big whoopidy do dah!  I gained some weight back.  It is not the end of the world.

Whatever situation you are in, beating yourself up over, STOP IT!

You have done great things.  You are a success.  You will be a success once again.  Give yourself a break.  Live your best life and stop being so hard on yourself.

No more Used To’s…

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  • dale thomas

    Great post. You accomplised lots over your weight loss journey and should be proud of where you are and whst you’ve done.

  • http://hippotohot.blogspot.com/ Sian W

    Excellent point, you’re so right. It’s so easy to slip into the past, to feel the pressure of expectations that we put on our own shoulders. But I say to hell with time limits! I have said “this time next year…” TOO many times. It’s time to just take one step at a time in the day that we are living this moment. You’ve got this! Please visit my blog if you have time =)http://hippotohot.blogspot.com/

  • Pamela

    Jennifer – I know exactly what you mean. I used to weigh 125 pounds in high school too. But now I’m 45 years old, way past high school. I too struggle with my weight – I’m now 152 pounds. But fight the good fight, and feel good about yourself. And don’t ever give up!
    One piece of advice – if I may – I notice you talk a lot about stress and stress eating in your posts. You are actually taking care of yourself by dealing with stress!
    But eating from stress only creates another problem – overweight. You can’t get rid of the stress, but I would suggest you increase non-food ways of taking care of yourself. Acknowledge your feelings. Snuggle in a blanket. Practice yoga breathing. Watch junky TV at the end of the day. You need to take care of yourself, just not with food. Good luck! And keep posting! I love your posts :)

    • http://www.itsuxtobefat.com Jennifer Swafford

      Great tips Pamela…sounds like a good blog post, “Ways to handle stress without eating!” I will check into that! Thanks for your encouragement. More importantly, thanks for reading my blog!

  • Lynne

    You have to live in the here
    and now. Leave the past in the past. Set some goals, make a plan, enlist some
    friends, and perhaps – try something new. I am a newly transformed, former skeptic,
    but now strong believer in hypnosis. Struggles
    with weight are in my mind. The suggestions I was given under hypnosis have
    eliminated the urge to eat certain foods or to eat under stress. I am still
    amazed. I have been a loyal Weight Watcher. I first joined when I was 16 started
    at 147 lbs and lost 14 lbs… The last time I joined I started at 193 and made it down to 170.6 In
    between there must have been 20 more “rejoins” with various successes, though I
    never made it to maintenance L My highest weight was
    213. I am not trying to sell anything – this is my journey, but I wanted to
    share because it has worked… It will be one year December 12. I have gone from
    a 14 to a 6. I don’t know what I weigh, but it’s the lowest since high school, and I haven’t been on a scale, counted a calorie or eaten any type
    of Lean Cuisine/Diet food. It is SO freeing to not be consumed by WEIGHT…

    • http://www.itsuxtobefat.com Jennifer Swafford

      Very interesting…I have heard about hypnosis for other things and I am so glad that it worked for you!

  • starstuffpondering

    Terrific post. Thanks for the reminder. I have a tendency to get so down on myself over used-to-do’s and why-didn’t-I-do’s. It doesn’t help at all.
    Confessions of a Fat Chick

  • http://jenbsjourney.blogspot.com/ JenB

    Very good points! These past eight years I’ve lost weight and gained most back (about 50 pounds) and have lost half again. While my ultimate goal is to get back to 135, where I was eight years ago, and pre-marriage/babies … I really just want to be healthy and feel good. I remember, even on the way up, gaining weight, that I felt good anywhere from 135-150, maybe even better at 140s than at my lowest weight. Being skinny but miserable isn’t good, but regaining all the weight isn’t good. I still want to eat, still want to enjoy life, and find that spot where I can hopefully do it all.

    • http://www.itsuxtobefat.com Jennifer Swafford

      Isn’t that the truth?!? Good luck to you on finding that “sweet spot” where you can have it all!

  • Mari

    Thank you Jennifer for another great post. Too often we get trapped in the past and all the “coulda, woulda, shoulda”. I love your blog and read it often. Thank you for being so transparent and being a successful role model :) Your readers love you and are behind you every step of the way – You Got This!

    • http://www.itsuxtobefat.com Jennifer Swafford

      You are sweet, Mari! Thanks for your kind words!

  • Anthony

    Wow this story is really touching and inspirational. I think doing your best is really what counts. My girlfriend used to always talk about how skinny she used to be and I don’t think girls realize it is not their fault or due to lack of trying that they aren’t the same size they were as teenagers. It becomes really difficult for women to burn fat as efficiently as the years pass. If anyone is interested, my girlfriend tried this program and it really helped her in her pursuit to a happier, healthier, and slimmer life style. Definitely check it out! http://tinyurl.com/luh4hvc

  • Kevin@LoseCheekFat

    “Whatever situation you are in, beating yourself up over, STOP IT!”

    awesome post and words Jen, it is not stopping at where you are but keep pushing the limit to be better and better every single day. the problem only starts when we stop doing it. Thank You. Yes you’r an inspiration.


  • LaDelle Ganter

    Awesome blog! You did and are doing great!! Don’t worry about the extra 15 think about the 90lb loss!! That’s fantastic!! I myself lost 100lbs as well!

  • Jen Latham

    Great post! I had great success on WW, then let myself back slide. I’m struggling in the same way you are. Let’s move forward and build new successes, and let go of past mistakes.

  • rnelson83

    I really do know what you mean about beating ourselves up
    for not being that exact number. Whatever we have in our minds we don’t thinks it’s a very big accomplishment unless we hit that magic number. I don’t understand why some of us are constantly disappointed about the results when we should be praising the efforts we have made to get us where we are today. I weighed 200 pounds after I gave birth to my son and then gained another 35 before he was a year old. I probably got upwards towards 240 pounds before I stopped gaining weight. The first year I didn’t lose any weight I just gained. The second year rolled around and nothing happened. Finally the third year rolled over and I somehow lost 30 pounds. Well now my son is almost 6 years old and I have made it all the way down to 150 pounds but then gained 20 back. I am now 169 pounds and for the whole summer I was disappointed in myself because I let my body gain some more weight. I should have been praising the fact I lost 70 pounds right. So that’s what I am going to do. I also read this really helpful book that made me realize how our brains can mess with our weight just by how we think. I have only had this book for a few days, and I have really noticed a change and am really excited about this book and the new concepts I am learning. Incorporating the thought processes into my eating has even changed me from depressed about food to just thinking it’s another day. The book is called The Thin Woman’s Brain: Re-wiring the Brain for Permanent Weight Loss and can be found on Amazon.com. I’m really glad to see this post. You really tell us how you have overcome the negative and turned your experience into something positive and it reminded me of that book. Thanks so much for sharing.

    • rnelson83

      Oh if you want to find the book here is the adress instead of having to search it. http://amzn.to/17NE2oX

  • Emily

    How’s it goin’ Jen? We miss you!

  • Laura SB

    so true! great post. I hope you feel better.

  • Raee

    Here are one of the questions I received on my email and I would like to share this with the rest:

    Q: I was on a weight-loss program together with my buddy. Within a week she lost a few pounds but I didn’t. At the end of the program, she lost a whooping 8 kg and I gain 2 kg. We went through the same ordeal but how did she managed to lose fats and I gain instead?

    A: The scenario you mentioned above is actually quite common. That is partly the reason why some weight-loss programs got it’s bad reputation. The problem here doesn’t lie with you nor the program. It lies on your body. Different bodies have different nutrients composition. Some bodies have adequate nutrients while others are lacking. It is these nutrients that determine whether you will lose fats or not.

    Obviously, your buddy body has enough type of nutrients and amount that is needed to boost weight-loss.

    Find out the nutrients that will help in weight loss. Know which nutrients must be present that will go hand-in-hand with your weight-loss programs.