It has been almost a year since I shared my infertility story with all of you. I thought you might like an update.
I turn 35 tomorrow. I have heard 35 is some magical number where you better hurry up if you are going to have a baby. Well damn-Happy Birthday to Me!
I guess God better hurry.
After Jason’s surgery, we were to give his body 6-12 months to see an increase in his levels. We went back to RBA for a full update in April. The doctor said his counts looked good except for his testosterone was still a little low. They prescribed him Clomid to increase his numbers.
We had discussed with the doctor doing IUI now that Jason’s counts looked good and he said to go for it. Our plan had been to do the procedure over the summer when I would have time to go to the doctor at any time during the week. So, on the way out, we asked for an estimate on having an IUI procedure. The cost sheet said the procedure can range anywhere from $2,000 to $5,000. WOWZERS! My hopes were crushed in the realization that we really can’t afford that right now and we need to just continue to trust Him.
Jason has been taking Clomid for over a month now and his numbers are great! We went back to RBA in the end of May and had his numbers checked. The Clomid is working beautifully and his doctor told us increased numbers will be very beneficial in getting pregnant. Such good news!
I asked my gynecologist at my yearly what he thought of IUI. He said we should go ahead and do the procedure because I am almost 35. There’s that magic number again!
I called and spoke to Dr. Toledo’s nurses at RBA and they said we were good to go as long as Jason had been cleared from his doctor. We knew that was the case so we decided to go ahead and go with the procedure in June (still not sure where the money would come from). I knew that if it was from God, the money would come.
I was a little worried about having the IUI done in June because the dates for the procedure were falling right on the line of when we leave for vacation. IF I did not ovulate before vacation, all the time and money put into the tests, medicine, etc. would be for not. We were taking a risk that I would in fact ovulate before we left or lose all that money we put into it. Well…guess what happened?!?
God shut the door.
My period was late. Not,”I’m pregnant” late just “Three days late to throw off having IUI” late.
There was my answer.
God said “NO!”
I don’t know why He said no but He did. I have had regular 28 day cycles for months now and THIS month, it was a 30 day cycle. That put me ovulating while we are on vacation. No sense in doing IUI this month. I got it Lord, loud and clear.
So, we wait. Again. On HIM. I would LOVE for Him to save us all that money and have us get pregnant naturally. I would LOVE for Him to provide us with $5000 so we could do IUI. I would LOVE for Him to continue to lead us in the right direction.
And He will.
I know that without a doubt. As long as we continue to pray and seek Him. He will close doors; He will answer prayers; and above all, He will continue to show us that He is in control.
I was reading my daily devotional this morning, Jesus Calling, and He spoke to me loud and clear. Here is what He said:
I am all around you, like a cocoon of Light. My Presence with you is a promise, independent of your awareness of Me. Many things can block this awareness, but the major culprit is worry. My children tend to accept worry as an inescapable fact of life. However, worry is a form of unbelief; it is anathema to Me.
Who is in charge of your life? If it is you, then you have good reason to worry. But if it is I, then worry is both unnecessary and counterproductive. When you start to feel anxious about something, relinquish the situation to Me. Back off a bit, redirecting your focus to Me. I will either take care of the problem Myself or show you how to handle it. In this world you will have problems, but you need not lose sight of Me.
WOW! Thank you God for your word of encouragement. Again, we need to trust. We need to stop worrying about what to do and let Him take care of it. Lord, we are trusting you to take care of the problem or show us how to handle it. Thank you for this promise!
Will you please continue to pray for me and Jason? Will you please pray that God will continue to give us strength when we are weak? Will you please pray that we will not lose sight of Him and continue to TRUST?