So, I titled my post “Weight Loss Limbo” and then went to see what the actual definition of limbo is according to Dictionary.com. Take a peek at this:
My favorite definition is the last one. A place or state of imprisonment or confinement…and to to think, I just thought limbo was with a stick where you dance to music and try to bend under the stick.
So, why am I in weight loss limbo? I guess it is because I am not in a routine. When I get out of routine, weird things happen. That’s called being “Type A” I suppose. I feel like I am harping on the same thing I have been harping on since November. Jacynta quit…blah blah blah. I don’t like any other Weight Watchers leaders…blah blah blah. I am not getting anything from the meetings…blah blah blah. What am I doing…blah blah blah. No one even cares or knows if I don’t go to a Weight Watchers meeting…blah blah blah. Should I stay or should I quit…blah blah blah.
I am tired of it. I am tired of being in this limbo state. Not knowing what I am going to do or where I am going to do it. All I know is I have to do something fast because this “not knowing” is NOT working for me. I have NOT been obsessing about what I have been eating, therefore, eating whatever I feel like. Anybody out there ever done that and found that it DOES NOT work for them? Yeah, it doesn’t work for me either! Last time I weighed, just over a week ago, this is what my home scale said:
Yes, people…that would be 0.8 pounds away from the dreaded 200. That would be not even a pound away from the number I worked so hard to get so far away from. And that was my weight about a week ago. It might possibly be higher now. I am too scared to get on and face reality…to be honest.
Can I tell that I weigh that much? Absolutely. My clothes don’t fit correctly. I weigh yoga pants whenever possible. I have been so sick lately…even had to take a day off of work this week due to such a bad cold. I think my immune system is down from eating poorly. My complexion has its own set of issues…breakouts when I am not one who normally breaks out. Oh, and the back aches. I have had horrible backs aches for the past few weeks. My lower back has been killing me. Can I tell I have put on almost 20 pounds in the last few months? Absolutely.
So, why is it so hard to get myself back together and get back on track?!? That my friends is the million dollar question. I can use all the excuses in the book but the truth is, I just haven’t done it. I have not made up my mind that I am going to do it. Until that happens, nothing is going to change.
NOT going back to Weight Watchers is not a good excuse for me. I have My Fitness Pal – FREE waiting for me to just use it. I have you all here, routing me on waiting for a good successful story and I am just not giving it to you. You see, I have to do it for ME. I can’t do it for YOU. I can’t do it because I know I am SUPPOSED to do it. I have to do it for ME because I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
For now, all I can do is make a commitment for this week. Let’s take it one week at a time. For this week, I will track what I eat in MFP. If you are interested at all in my activity on there or want to hold me accountable, my username is ItSuxToBeFat2014. Friend me. Each day, no matter what, I will log my food into there and track my calories. Even if I go over. Even if I don’t do so well. I will track it. I have to start somewhere and that seems like the most logical place to start.
I am going to make small changes that will eventually led up to big ones. So, I am putting this limbo stick down. Turning the music off and walking out of the party. No more limbo for me. Who else is ready to make a small change? Who else has been doing pretty shi**y and will commit to tracking, however you track, for this week alone?