I’ve been hiding.
For the last three weeks, I have gone to weigh in, gained weight and not reported it to you.
I’m sad and frustrated and feel like I have been on this same roller coaster for months going on years. I do good for a few weeks and then do ok and then do bad.
Up, down, up, down, down, down, up, up, way up…
You get the picture.
Here are my last weigh in’s since the last time I reported to you back on October 3…holy crap! Almost a month. Moving on…
The last time I reported to you, I had lost almost 8 pounds.
Then, I weighed in on October 7 and miraculously lost another pound:
I was stoked but then, the bottom fell out. I can’t exactly tell you what happened (I don’t really remember) but I am sure stress, not exercising, eating whatever I wanted, stopping the 10 day challenge, etc. ALL came into play.
So, that Monday, I had already decided I wasn’t going to weigh in. I had done terribly and I didn’t feel like it and I wasn’t going. Well…I turned into a kid again and my mother insisted that I go. She knew if I didn’t go, I would just go downhill even further (Does she know me or what?!?). So, I went…kicking and screaming to weigh in. What was funny was my sister and nephew rode with me and when we pulled in the parking lot I told her I couldn’t believe I was still letting my mom dictate my actions. I was super grumpy and she was laughing but the important thing is I went in and faced reality. AND let me tell you…my instincts were right…
Holy gain of 5.8 pounds. Well damn…
Then, last week, you can already see that I gained two more…
For a total, in one month, of a 7.8 gain putting me right back where I started on September 30. Slap-in-the-face reality check.
I can already tell you that tomorrow night is going to be bad. I had conferences all last week and my eating was total stress eating. Horrible, stuff my face, don’t track a point stress eating.
I will go to Weight Watchers tomorrow night, face the scale again for the last time in October and face reality.
I am sad. October has been a total loss for weight loss but I made a major realization that I think might just make it all worth it. You ready for the realization…
It only hurts me when I don’t blog about my weigh in’s because they are “Bad”. It doesn’t help ANYONE to stay in hiding. It hurts me and the scale just continues to rise when I try to hide it.
I am embarrassed and ashamed but…it is MY reality. I can’t hide anymore. The longer it takes me to get back on track.
The excuses are over. Conference week was a huge stressor for me but it is over. I am into the routine of back to school. No more excuses. It is time to get my butt in the game and start playing.
So, once again, I will go and weigh in tomorrow and give myself a new start. I know tracking works and I know I will be successful if I track. Next Sunday night, at this time, I am going to report back to you how my tracking went. Good or bad, I will come and tell you about it. It is time for some accountability.
How have you been doing? Have you been losing or gaining? Confess now and start over tomorrow. I once heard that confession is good for your soul. We shall see!