Coming out of Hiding – Weekly Weigh In

I’ve been hiding.

For the last three weeks, I have gone to weigh in, gained weight and not reported it to you.

I’m sad and frustrated and feel like I have been on this same roller coaster for months going on years.  I do good for a few weeks and then do ok and then do bad.

Up, down, up, down, down, down, up, up, way up…

You get the picture.

Here are my last weigh in’s since the last time I reported to you back on October 3…holy crap!  Almost a month.  Moving on…

The last time I reported to you, I had lost almost 8 pounds.

Then, I weighed in on October 7 and miraculously lost another pound:

Weight Watchers Weigh In October 7, 2013

I was stoked but then, the bottom fell out.  I can’t exactly tell you what happened (I don’t really remember) but I am sure stress, not exercising, eating whatever I wanted, stopping the 10 day challenge, etc. ALL came into play.

So, that Monday, I had already decided I wasn’t going to weigh in.  I had done terribly and I didn’t feel like it and I wasn’t going.  Well…I turned into a kid again and my mother insisted that I go.  She knew if I didn’t go, I would just go downhill even further (Does she know me or what?!?).  So, I went…kicking and screaming to weigh in.  What was funny was my sister and nephew rode with me and when we pulled in the parking lot I told her I couldn’t believe I was still letting my mom dictate my actions.  I was super grumpy and she was laughing but the important thing is I went in and faced reality.  AND let me tell you…my instincts were right…

Weight Watchers Weigh In for October 2013

Holy gain of 5.8 pounds.  Well damn…

Then, last week, you can already see that I gained two more…

Weight Watchers Weekly Weigh In October 21, 2013

For a total, in one month, of a 7.8 gain putting me right back where I started on September 30.  Slap-in-the-face reality check.

I can already tell you that tomorrow night is going to be bad.  I had conferences all last week and my eating was total stress eating.  Horrible, stuff my face, don’t track a point stress eating.

I will go to Weight Watchers tomorrow night, face the scale again for the last time in October and face reality.

I am sad.  October has been a total loss for weight loss but I made a major realization that I think might just make it all worth it.  You ready for the realization…

I-Can’t-Hide

It only hurts me when I don’t blog about my weigh in’s because they are “Bad”.  It doesn’t help ANYONE to stay in hiding.  It hurts me and the scale just continues to rise when I try to hide it.

I am embarrassed and ashamed but…it is MY reality.  I can’t hide anymore.  The longer it takes me to get back on track.

The excuses are over.  Conference week was a huge stressor for me but it is over.  I am into the routine of back to school.  No more excuses.  It is time to get my butt in the game and start playing.

So, once again, I will go and weigh in tomorrow and give myself a new start.  I know tracking works and I know I will be successful if I track.  Next Sunday night, at this time, I am going to report back to you how my tracking went.  Good or bad, I will come and tell you about it.  It is time for some accountability.

No-More-Hiding!

How have you been doing?  Have you been losing or gaining?  Confess now and start over tomorrow.  I once heard that confession is good for your soul.  We shall see!

Like this post? Share it!

  • Connie Beard

    I have been gaining, too. I don’t weigh myself very often, but my clothes are not fitting.

  • Lori Whited Griffith

    I just cannot seem to get my motivation back…and I’m slowing gaining…gaining…our leader is retiring and we don’t have a replacement…I’ve read success stories and a lot attribute it to the encouragement of the leader and honestly we don’t have that…she wants us to succeed I believe that but she almost scolds us when we gain…makes even harder to go to weigh in when you have gained…we live in a rural area and close meets are few and far between…I need help…PLEASE…and thank you for sharing…

    • Jessica Hartman

      Hi Lori – you have to figure out your WHY. Likely you know already know HOW because you’ve gone to meetings and have seen success…but you need to figure out they WHY. WHY do I want to lose? WHY now? WHY me? WHY NOT ME? And yes, skinny jeans can be a reason…but they are not as ‘motivating’ as being able to buckle your seat belt on an airplane, go up a flight of stairs while talking to a coworker, walking your children down the aisle, knowing you are taking care of yourself so you can hold your grandbaby, rocking your golf game in your 70′s…good luck and you can DO IT!

      • Lori Whited Griffith

        Jessica,
        thank you for the encouraging words…Why? I want to be healthy…I want to feel attractive for my husband and I want to be able to serve the Lord full out and simply put…I can’t do any of this overweight…I will keep on keeping on!

        • Vicky Fountain

          Good for you, Lori. We have to do this for ourselves more than any other reason. We have to believe we’re worth it, and that life really can be so much better, if we work hard and grab it by the horns! We can’t depend on someone else to motivate us… we have to motivate ourselves.

  • Vicky Fountain

    I can sooooo relate to all of this! I’ve been blogging about my weight loss journey since August 16, 2013 and I know how hard it is to post when you’ve gained weight or just feel like you aren’t making any progress. You want to hide, like the world just won’t know what’s going on if you don’t post anything lol. But I promised myself from the start, that my blog would be a place for complete honesty and transparency, no matter how hard or embarrassing it gets. If you’d ever like to check out my story, you can find it at vickyfountain.com. I’m really enjoying your blog, thanks for sharing it!

  • Emily

    I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. I know that you can get back to where you WANT to be.

    Something that’s helped me when I’m feeling stressed/want to eat/just don’t feel like it, is to read blogs. You have helped me stay on track more than you know. I also read ronisweigh.com, authenticallyemmie.com plus a blog on the weightwatchers community written by skrange. Looking at other people’s before and after photos has also been helpful. You can do it!

  • Aimee Rodriguez Vollmer

    Jenn, sweet friend, if only you truly knew that all of us here are 100% (no, make that 110%) behind you. Good, bad or ugly… we are honored to call you our friend and, through thick, thin, thick again (whatever!), we are proud of you because you are YOU. We have loved you for years and will love you for years to come! One of the things that makes us love you so? Your honesty. Your candor. Your willingness to put it all out there for us to see, to read. You remind us of our strengths and also of our failures and, through it all, you remind us that tomorrow is another day and we WILL keep working towards our goals.
    Together…

  • Rachelle Parks

    Jennifer I know exactly how you feel. I also turn into a little kid, throwing a tantrum and not wanting to go weigh in & eating what I want. Sometimes we just have to put our big girl panties on and deal with it ;-)

  • Ashley Barrineau

    I am with you. I have let my stress take over my life and mess with my success and the progress I was making. Getting back on track is hard after a set back but do it one choice at a time :) I am with you!

  • Sandra

    I have gained a lot of weight recently, mainly because of the birth of my 4th child. I never thought that I would get rid of it, so I too started a blog, feel free to check it out please : http://1howtoloseweightinaweek.tumblr.com/ . The writing and directing women in the right direction has helped out.
    Keep up the great work and never give up!

  • Lynne

    I was you FOREVER! I empathize totally with how you are feeling. This is a tough time of year, but you know what you need to do – no excuses… You will always have stress and busy weeks and you can’t hide, and you can’t let it be a reason for you to fail. Look at the the success you’ve had!? Back to basics, enlist help and be kind to yourself… If you’re not feeling it. FAKE IT. Just do it. You know how great it is. Stop beating yourself up.

  • Kari

    Confession time!! I 100% relate to you and I have to be honest it was so refreshing to hear that I am not the only one struggling with this. Up, down, down, up, up, up. I am in education and totally stress eat. I have been avoiding the scale like its the plague since August…August!! Clothes have gotten very tight so I faced reality and weighed myself. 15 pound gain since my wedding in June. So that was a slap in the face with reality and I am back on track even more.

    Girl i am praying for you!! ” I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.” You are a huge inspiration!!!

  • Janice

    hey, don’t give up the fight. you have come so far to that level, why going back to there you were ? get that new start rolling over ! wait no longer …

    http://www.losecheekfatsite.com

  • http://jenbsjourney.blogspot.com/ JenB

    My Aria (Fitbit) scale syncs automatically/wirelessly to my computer and accounts, so I can’t really hide my daily changes. My poor MFP ticker just keeps sliding around all over. I do hate when it goes backwards. I’m currently at 24 pounds lost, but I’ve been at 26, so I’ve had some gain. I have lost enough that I’m feeling a lot better, but I’m still not where I want to be. Plugging away, every single day …

  • Gail

    It’s a relief to know that you are HUMAN just like the rest of us! I started losing weight about the same as your sister. Although I’ve had success (40 pounds), there are weeks I fall back into those old habits. All that matters is that we get back on track and keep going. We all have bumps in the road and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I think that your blog followers will appreciate and admire you more for admitting your flaws.

  • boyleprice

    Your posts are always so timely for me. I was hiding too. I finally stepped on the scale and, well, no good. But, today is a new day and so far so good. Taking it one hour at a time!

  • Kathy Jesperson

    I’ve been hiding for the past few years. I lost about 60 pounds a few years ago and then gained about 50 back. I’m just now getting back into the groove of losing again. And I’ve got 40 pounds to go before I’m in the place I was in five years ago. Here’s to starting over.

  • Betty Taylor

    I totally understand where you are coming from. I am still doing pretty good right now. I have lost all my weight before and then gained it all back. I worry that will happen again. I feel really good about my eating right now, but I did before and it happened. I don’t know why it happens. I wish I did. I would probably be rich if I had the answer to that question. Good luck with getting back on track! Just keep posting and maybe something will help.

  • Jennifer

    Thanks for sharing. I have been a long time reader and I have even seen you in meetings. Yeah, Jacynta is a nut. I am also middle school teacher in yr county. i also hope i am not coming off as too much of a stakler.
    haven’t ever commented but this post struck a cord with me. I post my WW stuff of G+ to my friends and this is what I posted a few days ago.
    http://i.imgur.com/VUbN2ZM.jpg
    I am glad that the app could only hold nine pictures because it went back much farther. I firmly believe in confession and accountability, so know that you have a reader who is looking to support you and be encouraged by your success.
    It is a small thing, but here is my tracker for the past two days.
    http://i.imgur.com/QxJRwli.jpg

    Good luck and I might see you some time :)

  • Melissa

    First time here.. I read your post. I can completely understand how you are feeling. But look at how much you’ve lost…its Incredible! You’ve gained a little back yes, but nip it in the bud now — one meal at a time. Dont give up – you’re SO close!

  • http://www.hcgwarrior.com/ HCG Canada

    Nice one and I like to read it. hiding is not the solution. Fight with fat with guts and show to the world that you have damn attitude.
    -
    http://hcgwarrior.com/

  • Jennifer Dome

    I completely relate to this! I don’t weigh in on a regular basis because I’m afraid of what the scale may say. I know when I haven’t had a good week, or a couple good weeks, based on tracking, so I fear the scale. You did something good here — you weighed in & faced reality. That’s huge! Much better to know where you stand & move forward, rather than live in denial. You’ve inspired me to face reality, too!