I’m Gonna Do It

I have been very wishy-washy lately.

Should I?  Shouldn’t I?  Should I?  Shouldn’t I?

Well…yesterday afternoon I made the decision.

I’m going to run the half-marathon I signed up for on Saturday.

Oh…wait.  You didn’t know I was considering NOT running it?  Well, I was.  I had so much self doubt in my head that I had pretty much talked myself out of running it.  Period.

Until yesterday.

I had 10 miles on my half marathon training schedule.  I didn’t want to do it but I got in my car and went to the park anyway.  I had to give my training one last long run and see how it went before I made the final decision that I was NOT going to do it.

I got out there.  The weather was absolutely beautiful.  Perfect even.  The temperature was cool and crisp but the sun was shiny and it was warm enough I could wear my normal running gear.  The only thing wrong about this run was my attitude.

I had a bad one.  Attitude that is.

I was the most miserable person out there running…I just know it.  Here are my thoughts.

“Why am I out here?  I can barely run three minutes before I have to walk.  My time was not very good last week.  If I am not running this race anyway, why am I wasting my time.  Fine.  I will do 6 miles.  6 miles and then I can stop.  My legs hurt.  My heartrate is too high.”

Blah….blah…blah….blah…blah…

I told you I was miserable!  Then, all of a sudden, I had a moment of clarity.  It was one of the best self talk discussions I have had with myself in quite a while.  I was like, “Self…you have a choice.” “You can continue to be a miserable person for the rest of this run or you can say to hell with it.  I am actually going to enjoy this.  Take time to walk.  Take time to jog.  Listen to the music.  Enjoy the beautiful fall day.  Who knows, you might actually enjoy yourself!”

Running is a big question mark that's there each and every day.

And…that is exactly what I did. I stopped those negative thoughts that were nagging away in my head and I enjoyed my 10 miles.  No, I did not run all 10 miles.  I did intervals where I walked up the hills at the park and jogged the rest.  I gave myself permission to NOT rock it out.  I gave myself permission to ENJOY the activity.  And…guess what happened when I allowed myself to enjoy it?

10 miles run.

I ended up going 10 miles.  I didn’t stop at 6.  When I got to 6 I thought, only 4 more.  You can do this.  Then, when I got to 10, I had done better time-wise than the week before.  I felt better than the 10 miles I did the week before and I had clarity in my mind.

I WILL do the half marathon.

I will do it alone.

I will enjoy the music and the weather.

I will give myself permission to go slowly and walk/jog if I need to.

I will give myself permission to NOT break my record of 2 hours and 30 minutes.

I will complete my second half marathon and I just might like it.

So there…I’m Gonna Do It!

 

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  • http://www.facebook.com/teresa.pikeoechsli Teresa Pike Oechsli

    You got this!! I have to self talk all the time..I tell myself I’m stronger than I think I am. I give myself permission to walk and take a break if I need it. Hey! At least we are doing it…I tell my husband, it may not be pretty but at least I’m doing it. Good luck and enjoy the finish line.

  • http://twitter.com/JenJenMi Jen Latham

    Yay! I just ran a half marathon yesterday where my training had been less than ideal. I lined myself up at the start line…and had a great morning! It was my slowest half marathon so far, but it was a great run anyways. Attitude is everything!

  • http://twitter.com/Alicia_Orozco NeverEverBeenSkinny

    This is awesome! I

  • http://www.facebook.com/lori.bartonlooney Lori Barton Looney

    I love this post because if you are a runner you’ve had that conversation in your head at least once. Remember, no matter how slow you go you’re still lapping everyone sitting on the couch… including the old you who could have made the choice to continue sitting on the couch. Enjoy the half and good luck!

  • http://twitter.com/UncommonWine Carrie

    I’m so happy you decided this! I often need an attitude adjustment when it comes to running. I’ve had issues with my last few 5ks. Then I scheduled my first 5-mile race just 1.5 weeks after a 2-week vacation where I got no exercise. I through my old pressures out the window and just enjoyed running through the apple orchards and pumpkin patches. So I can relate to you! Enjoy your half this weekend! Cheers to you.

  • http://twitter.com/ginger85NE Gina Limmer

    You are awesome & I love your blog. I have at least 75 lbs to lose to get to a healthy BMI and you inspire me! I’m going to run/walk after work and sign up for a 1/2 marathon in the spring since I live in a cold weather state! Thanks for sharing

  • http://www.facebook.com/ehallhillyer Elisabeth Hall Hillyer

    That was me last Saturday! I have a love hate relationship with running. I have a half on Nov 4th and its nice to know I’m not alone in the bad attitude club for running at times. I really enjoy reading your posts.

  • http://www.facebook.com/dawn.hopson.armstrong Dawn Hopson Armstrong

    Thank you so much for your honesty. I’ve been fighting this battle for the past couple of weeks with my half next weekend in Savannah…even though I have gone the distance, the “brain-games” screw with my attitude constantly!

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